How many lessons must I learn?
These were just a couple of questions, she asked herself that morning on her daily walk with the dogs.
When will this pain be over? How many challenges do I have to pass?
A row of a few other questions came forward: what do I want? what can I bring to the table? what am I good at?
Well, the last question was what she normally had the hardest time answering. Maybe because of the noice, demands and other peoples opinions.
But this morning it became very clear.
Immediately the following things came to her as if she just needed to demand them to show themselves. This beautiful autumn morning with the sun shining and warming and the dogs behaving nicely for once. And all the colours of autumn making the usual walk more beatiful than ever.
Suddenly it all came clear to her what she is naturally good at, what she does with no effort, things that are just easy:
- teach
- listen
- see clearly (clairvoyance)
- connecting the dots (intuition)
- be quiet
- sing
And all this came to her in English. Not surprisingly as she often spoke English in her head. She remembered when her passion for the language started in 5th grade where she quickly cracked the code.
Her mind continued: Could it really be that easy?
Had she just connected her own dots?
A little while ago she posted something about being ready to finally be who she is.
She always felt different, and had a hard time fitting in.
She tried many times. Being herself or being a different version. But eventually it became a problem.
Everyone wants to feel like part of a group, a community, a family. Her selfmade family is the only place she feels safe and understood.
Being understood with a brain that actually runs on yet fuel. It is very often several steps ahead and when she finally speaks she forgets to communicate the dots that brought her to the conclusion. And people misunderstand.
But this i how she is and she works – there it is! Always has been, always will be.
Og nu på dansk
Wow, du læste helt herned. Tak for dig. Historien her kom til mig idag. Og den handler naturligvis om mig. Den er mig. Lige nu presser tårene på. Jeg ved ikke om det er de længe ventede tårer af sorg. En sorg jeg har haft i mange år og som ikke handler om nogen eller noget bestemt. Eller måske er de tårer af lettelse over endelig at have fundet mig.
Som du sikkert har gættet er jeg introvert. Og lige som alle introverte har jeg forsøgt på bedste måde at navigere i en ekstrovert verden.
En verden hvor det er finest af være ekstrovert. Det er det der står i stillingsopslagene at du skal være. Har du nogensinde læst et stillingsopslag hvor der stod at du skal være introvert?
Nej vel.
Men introverte kan godt finde ud af at være i en ekstrovert verden. Vi bruger bare rigtig meget energi på det. Fordele ved at være introvert er at vi er gode til
- at lytte
- at observere
- at tænke før vi taler
- at være gode venner
Jeg har opdaget, at jo ældre jeg er blevet, jo mere introvert er jeg. Men måske er det, fordi jeg er på vej hjem til mig. For nylig fik jeg at vide at jeg var længe om at svare på spørgsmål. Det har jeg aldrig hørt nogen sige før. Men det kan være det er fordi jeg modsat ekstroverte indeholder færre ord og derfor gerne vil bruge de rigtige.
Hvad tænker du?
